She Will Be Nasty When I’m Done With Her

January 29, 2010

[Luke is on the driveway working on his bobber.]

My bobber will be nasty when I’m done with her. She’s a 1978 XS750 and yeah she runs amazing, her kick start and electric are good. Three-cylinder, 5-speed, shaft drive. Look at her. She will look different when I’m done with her. I’ve lowered her three inches so far. I need to lower her another inch-and-a-half, then she’ll be nasty.

Her electric runs amazing. But she’s filthy. I’ve spent a hundred hours on the driveway cleaning her with bug and tar remover.  It’s just me, the bug and tar, the rag and the radio. And her. On Saturday I took a toothbrush to her swingarm and worked it hard. My girl Sarah came outside with a chicken breast and a Bud and was like, if you want to eat you’re gonna have to forget about the bike for a minute and come on in. Mom would let Dad eat on the driveway. On Sunday I worked on the brake dust on her rims. She has brake dust from 1980 probably. That dust is older than me. Sarah’s cool dad never rode her or washed her. He just wanted her to look cool in his cool garage. Sarah bought me a microfiber sponge glove for my birthday. That’s the best way to clean a bike’s painted parts. You have to use 100% cotton or microfiber sponges. Anything else will damage her. (I read all that online.)

Hell, Sarah got me the bobber, so anytime she says, come inside for chrissakes, I’m like, YOU got me the bobber and YOU told me I needed something to do all day and now I’m doing something. I was fine doing nothing. Now I’m doing what you told me to do. I am doing exactly what you told me to do and now you want me to stop doing it.

She’s been on my case about her but once I’m done with her Sarah will be the first person begging for a ride. She’ll be like, pick me up at the laundromat and we’ll ride to Dorothy Lane Market and buy blueberries (that are five bucks for a little container!) and then to the high school parking lot and talk about high school and we’ll get a pop at Circle K and put rum in it. Then she might be down for riding to the Grant Park and doing nasty stuff there and that would be OK with me.

Next: Goofing on Bloomberg



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Published Work

Page 1: The Fox in the Garage

How I Started a Family

Do We Need Cynar?

Gary 1 and Gary 2

I Work at a Fashionable Hotel Called the Hudson

C.O.D.Y. the Robot Who Hangs Out

Ann and Her Birdhouses

Luke and His Bobber

The Fox in the Garage in 3-D

105 Stories About Ohio


The Slugman of Herbert Street

Harold and the Purple Women


Dos Factotum

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