In Germantown There’s A Bar Called Laff’s That We Don’t Go To Anymore

September 19, 2010

In Germantown there’s a bar called Laff’s that we don’t go to anymore. Which is a shame because the mechanical bull there is a blast, and it’s free. If Jamie is in a good mood and not too weepy over some dude you’ll get a free drink if you stay on the bull for as long as she thinks you need to to get a free drink.

September, 2004. Laff’s is crowded and I can’t find Mike. He isn’t returning texts and calls go straight to voicemail. Mike tends to be drunk before anyone else and he’s often a hassle when things don’t go his way. We wanted to go to a party in Beavercreek but if we had left without Mike he would have thrown a fit. I ask Jamie if she’s seen him and she says, I hope he’s dead in a ditch somewhere. I didn’t know this at the time but the week before Mike had done stuff with Jamie’s sister and he took pictures of her naked after she’d passed out and showed them to the tennis team. A guy on the team told me she had a weird-looking vagina; that’s why he took pictures.

I go out to the backyard. Mike isn’t out there. I go back inside and check both bathrooms because Mike would often shit at bars so there was a chance he was in the bathroom, maybe even passed out on the shitter. But he wasn’t. I ask Jamie again: Seriously, have you seen him? She says that she still hasn’t seen him but she’ll keep an eye out for a drunk pervert in a tie dye shirt. He usually wore tie dye he said so girls would think that he was a laid back whatever kind of guy and not a hassle and a half.

It’s almost two o’clock now and we’ve moved to the sidewalk. I’m negotiating with a girl I used to do projects with in social studies, but things don’t go well. I call Mike again and leave another message. I check the backyard again and it’s empty except for a group of girls we barely know and I ask if they’re going to the thing in Beavercreek. One of them says it’s not happening anymore but she heard that Devin is having people over. I didn’t know Devin. I ask if I can go to the party with them and they say yeah but you’ll have to sit in the truck bed, which is a bummer: Osgood-Schlatter is destroying my knee and the long ride there makes it worse. And Devin’s party isn’t a party but rather four dudes who I don’t know and the girls who drove me sitting on the floor drinking Popov and o.j. and watching Mallrats.

I go out to the porch and call Mike again. No answer. I give up on him and go inside and sit next to the quiet one and we chat. It turns out her cousin was my counselor at jazz camp and that was enough for her to go on and later on we’re doing stuff in the kitchen but then Devin comes upstairs and says we all have to go home. The quiet one says that she has a boyfriend kinda and all that never happened. The next day Mike still isn’t answering his phone and when we go to his house his mom says she hasn’t heard from him. But she knows that everything will be OK and that Mike is doing Mike again. That afternoon a cop car pulls in the driveway and a cop walks up to us and tells us that Mike’s Saturn was found flipped over near Terre Haute.



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