Factory Smells

July 30, 2010

While driving on I-75 north of Cincinnati make sure to roll down the windows and let the smell of the Jim Beam distillery fill the car. Its smell is rather sweet and mild, like honey. The Proctor & Gamble soap, sponge and synthetics factory is closer to the river and that sucker really does smell like a factory. They make soaps and sponges and other synthetics there but after smelling it you’ll think they made dirty diapers. It’s the oldest factory in the city (1886) so the families living in nearby Addyston should be accustomed to the smell by now. This one family we used to carpool with, the Bayers, had to move to Addyston and after that we’d only see Trevor Bayer if the Addyston Orioles made it to regionals. (We always made it to regionals.) One year Sammy “Cakes” Frost said that he could smell the factory smell on Trevor when he tagged him out at third. When our teams shook hands after the game a few of us managed to get a good whiff of Trevor and we confirmed that he did indeed smell like a factory. Trevor also thought that he smelled like a factory but he said he didn’t mind so much because any girl he would consider getting with would also be from Addyston and she would also smell like a factory, or at least she would think that she smelled like a factory, and she wouldn’t mind getting with a dude who smelled like a factory. Trevor’s father was at the game but he left during the seventh inning stretch to get back to the factory. Trevor’s mother left the game soon after her husband left and a few of our parents said they were pretty sure she drove to Hyde Park to see the man with whom she was having an affair. At the time we thought that she was having the affair because she wanted to have sex with a man who didn’t smell like a factory but we now realize that it was likely more complicated than that.

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