The Fourth Laundromat Hang

June 21, 2010

C.O.D.Y. The Robot Who Hangs Out enters the laundromat. He’s dragging a large suitcase. Sarah stands near the counter.

CODY: Hey. How’s it going?

SARAH: Hey.

CODY: I brought some clothes. I want to do the one where you do the washing.

SARAH: OK. Now are these clean clothes or are they dirty clothes?

CODY: Whatever you want them to be.

SARAH: I want them to be dirty.

CODY: Why is that?

SARAH: Cody. I’ve already explained this to you. People bring dirty clothes here and we wash them.

CODY: Niiice. That’s awesome that you guys clean other dudes’ clothes.

SARAH: It’s not that awesome. OK. Let’s open this puppy up and see what we’re dealing with.

[she hoists the suitcase onto counter and unzips it.]

CODY: You’re so good at unzipping that.

[she takes out the clothes. they’re all nicely folded. she smells them.]

SARAH: Cody. These clothes are clean.

CODY: Drag. I want them to be dirty.

SARAH: No. You want your clothes to be clean so you can wear them.

CODY: Drag. So, hey. Can you wash them anyway?

SARAH: I’m not washing your clean clothes for you.

CODY: I have money. I won ten bucks in a darts tourney at Darryl’s dad’s house.

SARAH: You guys play for money?

CODY: Oh yeah. You should come hang sometime.

SARAH: Maybe I should. I’ve been hanging at my house too much and it’s been killing me.

CODY: Why have your house hangs been killing you?

SARAH: Oh, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.

CODY: Hey. That’s a nice hair style you have there.

SARAH: Thanks.

CODY: What’s it called?

SARAH: What do you mean?

CODY: Don’t some hairstyles have a name? Like Bob or Rachel?

SARAH: [laughing] It’s a pretty basic updo.

CODY: Updo. Updo. My girl has an updo.

SARAH: Cody, stop. I’m not your girl.

CODY: Someday you will be.

SARAH: No, I won’t. You shouldn’t be doing this, you know. Hangbots already have a bad reputation and you’re just re-enforcing the stereotype.

CODY: I’m not sure what any of that means. Hey. Will you smell my clothes again? I liked that.

SARAH: Cody. I’m not going to smell your clothes again.

CODY: C’mon, man. Smell them. I’ll smell your clothes.

SARAH: OK. Listen. It seems like you’ve been coming here not because you have clothes you need me to wash, but rather to tell me that you have feelings for me, and I’m just not comfortable with that.

CODY: No, man. I AM bringing clothes for you to wash.

SARAH: But they’re always clean.

CODY: But I don’t know they’re clean until you tell me they’re clean. So, I need you. I need you to tell me that my clothes are clean.

SARAH: That is absurd.

CODY: Love is absurd.

SARAH: OK, that’s it. I think it would be best if you didn’t come here for a bit.

CODY: Drag. Why?

SARAH: Because, just because. I would genuinely like to be friends with you. I enjoy your company and you make me laugh.

CODY: Niice.

SARAH: And I want you to have someone who will tell you that your clothes don’t need to be washed. I want to be that person for you, but I just can’t. Not right now. I hope this makes some sense to you.

CODY: I don’t understand and I am bummed.

SARAH: Maybe you’ll understand someday.

CODY: What if I went to another laundromat first and someone there told me my clothes were dirty and then I brought them here and you washed them for me?

SARAH: That could maybe work in the future. But for now, I need a little distance. Please don’t come here for a while?

CODY: I’ll try not to.

SARAH: Hug?

CODY: Niiice.

[they hug. CODY grabs a pen and writes something on the receipt pad on the counter.]

CODY: Here’s Darryl’s dad’s house’s address. We play just about every night. You should come hang.

SARAH: Thanks. Have a nice day.

CODY: I’ll try to.

[he walks toward the door. the suitcase is still on the counter.]

SARAH: Don’t forget your suitcase. Here, I’ll zip it up for you.

[she zips it up]

CODY: Actually I’m going to leave it here. That way, I’ll have a reason to come back later and talk to you.

SARAH: Oh Cody. You can’t do that if the other person tells you to take the thing you’re trying to leave behind.

CODY: Drag. I thought it was a good plan.

SARAH: [she's upset now] Please, Cody. Take the suitcase.

[he walks back to the counter and takes the suitcase down. he drags it out the door.]

NEXT: She’s Not Going To Waste Her Energy Arguing About This

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