Do We Need Cynar? 2

April 20, 2010

-Now add the Cynar. Why is your hand shaking?
-It’s not shaking.
-Yes, it is. And now the gin.

Is M. actually nervous or does she have the shakes? Should I tell her to drink less or let her figure it out? Day drinking: a problem in the restaurant industry or part of the fun? Why are M.’s thumbs so thin? Do a woman’s hands come from her father’s side or her mother’s side? Where is Science on that one? What’s her father like? Did he never tell her what to do and is that why she doesn’t listen to anyone and wears idiotic clothes? Why won’t she help me out and teach Robbie how to make a Harrumph? Does she actually not want to or is she testing me? Is she thinking, Does he like women who order him around?

-Now add the Cynar.
-Got it.
-And now the gin.
-That’s easy.
-M. had some trouble.
-Women.
-What does that mean?
-I don’t know. I actually think M’s great.
-So do I.
-I can see that.

He can see that? Did he see us come out of the bathroom together last week? Why was he at work so early? Is Robbie using the restaurant for unsavory purposes? Dealing? Gambling? Has Robbie jacked off on the clock? Am I paying this boy to jack off in the bathroom? Where will he work once we go under? He says he wants to get into PR but he’s too fat, right? Could he be a teacher? Could he hush a room of rowdy kids? Could he treat the dim kids as well as the smart kids? Would he favor the poor athletic ones because he grew up poor and athletic or would he realize all these kids deserve a fighting chance? Would he sleep with a teacher? And the next day would he nod sweetly as he passed her in the hall or would he treat her as if nothing happened? Does Robbie get any or is he all talk?

-So I got with this girl Saturday.
-Nice.
-Not really. She wanted me to call her a shithead. During.
-Really?
-Yeah, and when I said I didn’t want to, she started calling me a shithead. And she said I fuck like a shithead.

Would the wife like to be called shithead? How about a stick in the mud? Why do I call her pony? And why does she let me? Should a man call his wife a pony in mixed company or is that strictly for the bedroom? Do I need a name for M.? Is slinky apt? Doesn’t she resemble a slinky when she hangs over the bed and looks for her clothes, like a slinky hanging over a step?

Next: Gary 2 Got With a Ladybot

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