A year(?) ago I agreed to be an extra in a feature-length film David was producing(?) and showed up very early one morning at The Four-Faced Liar, a bar in the West Village. The movie is also called The Four-Faced Liar. Which came first? Nobody knows. (The bar without a doubt came first.) The movie’s about 20-something women realizing they are lesbians(?). Or maybe only Bridget (played by Marja-Lewis Ryan, who also wrote the film) is a legit lesbian but she convinces Molly, the taller, straighter one with a doofus boyfriend, to try lesbianism. So they have an affair. Bridget takes her to see Masculin, féminin at Film Forum. They have sneaky sex for a few weeks. Molly breaks up with her boyfriend and officially comes out via a mass email to family and friends. But then shit gets too real when Bridget demands they get matching tattoos and always sleep while spooning tightly. Molly reverts back to her hetero ways to appease her father, a prominent surgeon/i-banker/real estate mogul(?) who basically runs shit back home in Sheboygan and was never keen on the idea of his daughter “studying” acting at NYU in the first place. The doofus boyfriend and his buddy do stuff too, like lie to the girls. The girls lie back, harder and meaner and more frequently. Initially heavy drinking helps things, but then it makes things worse. The lies cause much pain and everyone ends up alone. Molly moves back to Sheboygan and rediscovers her Lutheran(?) roots.

Clearly I don’t know what happens in this film. But maybe I should because the story is based on true events which went down inside a twisted, over-sexed social circle that slightly overlapped with my own. (Or maybe not?) Anyway, you can see me for a second in the trailer. I’m walking like a regular guy who doesn’t think he’s being filmed, just like I was supposed to.

Conning people into giving you money to make a movie seems very difficult. I wish the filmmakers and actors lots of success.

Ryan Max has defeated Ryan Grim and John McShane in the last three Cricket matches to take place in the parlor on Montrose Ave. in Brooklyn. The first two games were played the night of Wednesday, Dec. 9; the third was last night, Dec. 10. Grim was runner-up both times, holding out against McShane, who tends to open the belly button in the home stretch but fails to significantly tickle it.

In last night’s match, Max quickly opened both 18 and 20. While Grim dismissed 20 in short order, both he and McShane were too occupied with their own offensive initiatives to pursue 18, allowing Max to score on it 11 times. This more or less sealed his victory. Grim did some damage on 17 and, as is often the case, also opened 15 and landed a few, but not enough to challenge Max’s healthy lead. McShane danced with Lady 16 but she was retired before he could make a lasting impression.

It should be noted that the first match on Dec. 9 was briefly delayed due to Max’s odorous feet. A window was cracked and the piece of wood that’s burned in the bathroom to mask the smell of a B.M. was brought into the parlor and lit.